The SDC3G – try it!
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Contributed by Stephanie Staples at Your Life Unlimited
Meet Chris and Claire, this week’s inspiration! This cool couple has a very unique life; they live on their sailboat and head out on the open seas for months at a time – alone, together!
It might not seem like we have much in common right off the bat, but I had a lot to learn from them. While I can’t imagine spending 24/7 for months at a time with anyone (not even myself!) no matter how much I like them, they share something that enhances their life that we can all borrow.
They call it SDC3G and they typically do it while having their supper. I’m going to let Claire explain it in her own words and as you read I urge you to think about how you can use the concept – not necessarily the exact format, although you sure can. At the end, I will tell you how it’s played out in my world in the short time since I learned it.
Claire – “In early Covid, it quickly became apparent that my partner and I were running out of dinner conversation. Having spent the whole day together there was no news to exchange. Cobbling together some things I read (I felt remarkably creative during Covid) I came up with an idea called SDC2G: reflect back over the day and choose one thing that (S) surprised you, (D) delighted you and (C) challenged you. The 2Gs were “gratitudes” – something you were grateful to the other person for, and something you were grateful to the universe for.
Chris was a little hesitant at first but the practice soon took root and became a ritual, one that we have kept up for over four years now – from our move from North Vancouver in 2020 to living on a sailboat for the last few years. Not only is it an interesting exercise to reflect on the day and choose those moments, it is fascinating to see what your partner comes up with.
The practice has helped me be more aware during the day. For example, when I catch myself experiencing joy, asking myself – I wonder if this is going to be my delight of the day. In noticing challenges, contextualizing them within SDC2G reminds me not only that this too shall pass but also that it may provide fodder for the evening’s discussion which helps take the weight out of it. Of course, the practice leads to deeper dinner discussions and helps us to better know ourselves and each other.
Even more important than the SDCs are the gratitudes. In 2023, I added a new one to the mix – something you are grateful to yourself for. While it may sound like vanity, it has proven to be the opposite.
Finding praise and love for oneself teaches one to extend it to others. It has also ended up being the meatiest category in that it helps signify what is important to each of us – often as much of a surprise to ourselves as it is to each other. And of course, finding something to be grateful to the other for is a lovely and fulfilling exercise.”
Steph here, I loved this idea from the get-go and have tried it with both my partner, and my friends, and even on double dates. In every case, the conversations made people think, led us down roads I’m sure we wouldn’t have gone down, and made us have much more appreciation than we had before the convo. The challenges sometimes allow us to help one another problem-solve.
Also, I have done this on my own, in my head, all alone and it’s still very powerful! Journalling the questions would take it to another level, I’m sure. I will try that next.
One tweak I have made is changing the order to challenge, surprise, delight – so that the good news is at the end, rather than the challenge. Claire’s add-on of something to be grateful to yourself for is sometimes a challenge in itself because it’s so foreign, but I agree it is so important and, as I find with all things gratitude-related, it gets easier the more you do it.
So today my SDC3G (or CSD3G, my version):
C – I was challenged to push beyond my usual 40-minute comfortable run (more like a jog really) to do an extra 10 minutes, even though it was wet and I didn’t really want to.
S – I was surprised when I attended a Chocolate Tasting event with a friend today, that there was more chocolate than even I could handle!
D – I was delighted to see pictures of my kids (who don’t live by me) outside and enjoying the beautiful fall weather.
3G’s – I’m grateful to:
my partner for trying to make my life easier
the universe for putting people in my life who love and appreciate me.
myself for fulfilling the promise I made last year to write this Good News Letter every week for a year straight (It was 1 year on Oct 11!). Yay, me!
Bonus tip – Every May, Claire does a May Challenge with her work team – they stop or start doing something for 30 days and support each other through their month-long journeys.
Now…your life, your version, your plan…
Using the concept, if not the exact questions, how can you integrate some of these questions into your life?
SDG3G, it’s just one more way to live Your Life, Unlimited! Steph : )
PS – On another note, because I think this is kind of cool – have you heard of Window Swap? Take a little mental break somewhere else in the world and peek out of their window.
