Going Tandem
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Contributed by Stephanie Staples at Your Life Unlimited
It had crossed my mind more than a few times in the last couple of years – usually followed by a ‘nah’. But that niggling thought would never quite subside. Every time I saw someone else do it, the feeling got a little stronger.
Could I do it?
Should I do it?
What would people think?
What was this item on my Push List? It was busking.
I had bought a ‘COVID’ guitar and with some rudimentary lessons from YouTube, I callused up my fingers and played happily for my own enjoyment. I began to write songs and amused myself quite basically, but nicely, thank you very much.
The thought of playing on the street, in my small town, with the possibility of people I actually know seeing and, worse yet, hearing me was at the same terrifying and well, yep just utterly terrifying.
Two things I knew for sure were that I could not do this alone and I could not collect money for myself.
Could not or would not? Would not (some therapy will be needed to unpack this one!).
Anyway…last summer I reached out to Diane, a musician friend, who I knew busked quite regularly, and asked her if she would be willing to help me bring this experience to life. She readily and happily agreed and was so encouraging and ready to practice and… then I completely got scared off and didn’t contact her again.
Until this summer, when, with my tail between my legs, I asked her again and she kindly agreed – again. This time, we scheduled weekly practices, invited her husband and his beautiful double base to join us, and arranged songs.
After years of playing alone, I can’t tell you what a sheer delight it was to play in a ‘band’ for a month. Joy, joy, joy!
Then it was showtime.
It was a lovely August afternoon when we played for an hour and raised $137 for our local food bank. The set was perfectly imperfect, as most things in my life seem to go. It pleased me to no end!
The wins were not only checking this off my Push List, but learning about playing with a group, taking a previously solo activity and giving it a whole new dimension, watching us get better as we learned how to meld our voices together, being committed, letting someone else lead, asking for forgiveness, and putting myself out to be judged in a whole new way.
None of this would have happened if I didn’t ask for help.
I likened this experience to tandem skydiving, pictured below. Yes, I decided to do it, but I never would have done it solo. In this case, Diane ‘pushed me out of the plane’ and I’m so grateful for the soft landing of both experiences!
Now…your life, your version, your plan…
Some questions to ponder…
It scares the beegeebees out of me when I think about trying…
I’ve always wondered if I could …
If I didn’t care what people would think of me, I might consider…
I’m actually not too old (or too young) or too … to begin …
Takeaways:
Don’t Let Fear Stop You: Sometimes, the things that terrify us the most are the ones that can bring the greatest joy and growth.
Ask for Help: Not much worthwhile is achieved in a silo. Reach out, connect, and find those who will “push you out of the plane.”
It May Not Be Too Late: Whether it’s learning a new skill or pushing a long-held dream into reality, age and experience are just numbers— passion, persistence and a little grit go a long way.
Enjoy the Journey: Perfection is overrated. It’s not just jump or busking day, it’s everything that leads up to it. Embrace the imperfections, the bloopers, and the joy in every step of your journey.
Jump out and strum on, Steph : )
