(Supplied)

By Sheldon Spackman

United In Grief

Family of slain Bowden mother urges end to stigma around domestic violence

Apr 15, 2021 | 3:04 PM

The family of a central Alberta woman murdered last month is urging families to have tough conversations about domestic violence.

Kirsten O’Donoghue (Gardner) was found dead in her Bowden apartment on March 22.

Her boyfriend, 27-year-old Ross Arran McInnes of Bowden, stands charged with first-degree murder.

Ashley Christoffersen, Kirsten’s sister, says the stigma around domestic violence needs to end.

“The victim blaming or turning a blind eye needs to stop. There are a ton of resources to help women in this situation, and no one should feel ashamed or scared to get help or talk to someone,” she urges.

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“Reach out. Check on your friends and family. Have the tough conversation because you could save a life.”

Christoffersen says Kirsten was recently separated from her husband and her relationship with McInnes was still new.

She says though her family is large, they are very close and united in grief over Kirsten’s sudden passing.

“As cliche as it sounds, there is a huge hole in our hearts like our chain is missing a link,” she laments.

“There is a huge void. I don’t know how else to describe the pain. She is and always will be a very loved daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt, cousin, mother and friend. Life really doesn’t seem right without her.”

Christoffersen describes Kirsten, a 25-year-old mother of two young sons, as a strong, independent, driven, and hilarious person.

“​Stubborn, but in the best way. My sister didn’t give a crap what other people thought. She was unapologetically herself. She was fiercely loyal and dependable.”

At the time of her death, Kirsten was working as a unit clerk at Red Deer Regional Hospital Centre, helping with COVID screening in the lab/cancer clinic, as well as in the Emergency department. She also worked casual at Sundre Hospital as a unit clerk and had just been accepted into the Office Administration program at Red Deer College.

That was my sister, always leveling up, always learning, growing and working hard to support those boys she loved so much,” Christoffersen says.

Christoffersen launched a GoFundMe campaign on March 25 to raise funds for her sister’s young family, which includes two-year-old twin boys – Braxton and Jensen.

“She was an amazing mother. Kirsten made having twins look like a walk in the park. She was born to be a mother, and before she was blessed with the twin’s, she was an active and involved auntie – affectionately called ‘Auntie Kirky’,” says Christoffersen.

​“I am aware of how difficult it is to raise children on your own, and I could acknowledge the challenges my brother-in-law will go through, suddenly being a single parent,” she continues.

“We wanted to make sure there is that security for the boys for their future. This was always very important to Kirsten and the main reason she worked so hard.”

With well over $63,000 already raised so far, Christoffersen says their family is very grateful for the tremendous support they’ve received.

“She (Kirsten) was talented. She could sing. She was an avid barrel racer when she was younger – an overachiever,” Christoffersen recalls.

“The multiple boxes of school awards, the amount of times her smiling face was in the newspaper for some amazing thing she had done. Her Girl Guide sash completely filled with badges.

“I know for a fact she would have continued to accomplish amazing things and set such a good example for her boys if she had been given the chance.”

For information on domestic violence resources available in central Alberta, visit the Central Alberta Women’s Emergency Shelter, theoutreachcentre.org, or Red Deer RCMP Victim Services.