Alberta author to speak at Penhold Library about the impact of her son’s suicide

On July 19, 2015, Carla Howatt lost her son to suicide.

Since that day, she has penned a book sharing her journey through grief and understanding mental illness.

Howatt now advocates for mental wellness and encourages people to let others know that they are listening. Whether the burden they carry is mental illness, suicidal thoughts, or grief, many people just need a listening ear.

On June 28 at 7 p.m., Howatt will be at the Penhold Library speaking about her book and experiences.

The book, titled Bearing Witness, is a direct recounting of Howatt’s experiences. She explains that the book is actually excerpts of her life as she posted them online for the world to view.

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One of Howatt’s early Facebook posts explained that her son had battled both depression and addiction. She stated, “For some reason he ended up at the place where living was more painful, in his mind, than dying.”

On top of having written her book, Howatt says a scholarship fund has been set up in her son’s name as well.

“It is a scholarship through CASA [Child, Adolescent and Family Mental Health] House for any kids or youth age 12-17 that have gone through any of the CASA programs and reached adulthood. What happens is they’re more or less on their own,” says Howatt.

CASA House is a community-based provider of mental health services for infants, children, adolescents and their families within greater Edmonton and from Central and Northern Alberta.

The scholarship was awarded for the first time in 2016 and will be handed out annually. The funds are not just awarded to those seeking post-secondary education, but also for those potentially seeking work and needing tools to start up.

“It’s to help launch some of these kids into adulthood in a positive way that not only provides the funding, but the encouragement that people are rooting for them,” Howatt said.

With her speaking engagements, Howatt will be talking about the support system she had in place when her son took his own life.

“[The book] really talks to what can we as human beings do to support people, not just those going through grief of a lost one, but also those who are struggling with mental health issues,” says Howatt.

Howatt said the public events are for everybody to attend because no person is immune to the effects of mental health.

“The numbers show that there is going to be someone in your life who is struggling,” she says.

Bearing Witness contains Howatt’s Facebook posts from the time she announced they had found her son to almost 18 months later. She said it’s the ups and downs, the funny stuff and the raw pain of the grieving process to that point.

Another of Howatt’s first Facebook posts talked about how she had her son for 27 years. She talked of  parenting him, from holding him when he cried, to walking the streets when he had croup, to worrying about him and being proud of him.

“I had dreams for him. His life mattered and therefore so does my grief. What can you do? I need you to bear witness to my pain.”

Howatt’s book is available at her upcoming speaking engagements as well as online, including from her website www.imbearingwitness.com